not yet

 numbness surrounds and I have no idea how I ought to feel, the words aren't coming out as I try and type my feelings, if there even are any

when did it all start, who is true and what is to be believed

i stare into nothing but void, listless and numb because the tears won't come out, there's fear in vulnerability

the guard had been let down, spending countless evenings and afternoons together, giggles until 3am turn into insomniac nights, I don't know what to perceive

I gave you my everything, my best and my worst, I gave you my soul and all I ever had, I left no stone unturned to make it known that it has always been you for me

I believed I needed no one else, as long as you were by my side. I believed in your lies and in your declarations of love, embroidered to mold me in your perfect dreams

where were you when I needed the answers, you left my stitches open, let them dry out in the air and came back only to put salt on my wounds

was any of it love 

the signs were blatant, I chose to be blind.

~h.